During the recent discussion forum debate regarding the Reading: "Reflective Writing and the Revision Process: What Were you Thinking?" (Giles), I wrote a response to three questions, one of which included the following:
"Sometimes we are not aware of choices we make in our writing until we reflect back on them. Are these choices still choices if we were not initially aware of them?" (Roen et al) My response to the question was as follows: "I feel that 'awareness' of ones self, which can be administered through self reflection, or metacognition, as it were, is the key to which the ideas within our minds are released, therefore, they (the ideas) were there all along. Although we were not aware of them initially, through learning to think reflectively, over the course of time, we could anticipate more and more about ourselves so that maybe more will come to mind in those individual moments. I have read briefly about 'determinism', and do initially believe in its meaning. I believe that we do theoretically know about what we are eventually going to say. Below is an excerpt from an interesting paper regarding "Determinism's Consequences" (Honderich): "Determinism, for purposes of this lecture, is the view that every event is an effect. That is, each event is necessitated by a causal circumstance. There is a standard explanation of it. A lot more might be said here, of course. But in connection with the problem of freedom, there is no need whatever for a physicist's mathematized conception of determinism, which indeed is no clearer." (Honderich 1) I feel that the first part of this theory (contained within the first three sentences), links seamlessly to the idea of self reflection as part of the act of writing, and through self reflection, more thoughts can be triggered through interaction with our writing. Overall, the idea that the event (in this case writing), which is preceded by a causal circumstance (in this case self reflection), reinforces the confidence I currently maintain with regard to my understanding of the importance, and the relevance of self reflection. Through self reflection, we (writers) enable ourselves to analyse our own work for two very good reasons: to notice the positives, and to learn from the negatives. Earlier in the course, we read about "The Process Note" (Giles 192) which I found to be a revelation in thinking. I found that it was refreshing to re-read the same text, and through re-engagement with the text, I was able to recall Giles method of thought, which reminded me how self reflection could be achieved. The following paragraph of text is a short explanation of "The Process Note": "For each essay, we had to write what she called a “process note” in which we explained our processes of working on the essay, as well as our thought processes in developing the ideas. We also discussed what we might want to do with (or to) the essay in the future, beyond the class. At the end of the semester, we composed a self-evaluative cover letter for our portfolio in which we discussed each of our essays from the semester and recorded our learning and insights about writing and about the genre of nonfiction." (Giles 193) Giles also offered a further revision tool that could assist a writer, she wrote "My letter to the reader assignment" (Giles 193) is also an excellent self reflective tool that can be included into the writing process: "This will be a sort of cover letter for your essay. It should be on a separate sheet of paper, typed, stapled to the top of the final draft. Date the letter and address it to “Dear Reader.” Then do the following in nicely developed, fat paragraphs: 1. Tell the reader what you intend for the essay to do for its readers. Describe its purpose(s) and the effect(s) you want it to have on the readers. Say who you think the readers are. • Describe your process of working on the essay. How did you narrow the assigned topic? What kind of planning did you do? What steps did you go through, what changes did you make along the way, what decisions did you face, and how did you make the decisions? • How did comments from your peers, in peer workshop, help you? How did any class activities on style, editing, etc., help you? 2. Remember to sign the letter. After you’ve drafted it, think about whether your letter and essay match up. Does the essay really do what your letter promises? If not, then use the draft of your letter as a revising tool to make a few more adjustments to your essay. Then, when the essay is polished and ready to hand in, polish the letter as well and hand them in together." (Giles 194) Giles suggested revision process is quite rigorous, which is because the application of one or the other of these suggested writing tools ensures that as writers, we think critically about the content of our work. This includes rhetorical concepts, which considers who our readers or audience are; through the consideration of processes, which relates to how we break down sections of writing, and analyse these sections in order to potentially improve our writing; and simply our enjoyment of the act of writing, which stems from our motivation to write. Works Cited: Giles, Sandra L. "Reflective Writing and the Revision Process: What Were you Thinking?". Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. Vol 1. 2010. pp. 191-204. Web. 17 Feb. 2017. Honderich, Ted. "DETERMINISM'S CONSEQUENCES: THE MISTAKES OF COMPATIBILISM AND INCOMPATIBILISM, AND WHAT IS TO BE DONE NOW". THE DETERMINISM AND FREEDOM PHILOSOPHY WEBSITE . ucl.ac.uk. Unknown. Web. 17 Feb. 2017. Roen, Duane' et al. English 101. English department. Arizona State University. Feb. 2017. Web. 17 Feb. 2017.
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The process of revision clearly means a number of different things to my fellow students. A number of people, including myself, discussed how new priorities had been formed within our minds as a result of participation in this course. "Awilson89" commented:
"As I worked on my first draft of this essay, the more I understood the importance of revision. Before, I always felt that I needed to go at full throttle writing up my first drafts, treating them like they were final drafts in order to have them be perfect. As a result, I always became exhausted, stressed out, and thought of revision as a negative tool in writing. From taking this course, I finally realized that I really don't need to put all of my energy into my first drafts and instead save it for the final draft. Now I am thinking of revision as a more positive tool. I also understand the goals and purposes of revision as an important step in my writing process." "Susanhdavies" agreed with "Awilson89's" comments, and wrote: "I totally agree with you! I am also used to putting it all on the first and only paper. I have only ever gone back and revised or have rewritten things in this class and Comp. 102.... There are big lessons being learned all around!" My response to this discussion post was also in correlation with the answers above: "I can relate to what you have both noted because I too have learnt to be more relaxed when writing. In previous weeks, the course talked about cognitive overload, which I now understand as the feelings and thoughts involved when trying to complete an essay too quickly" Professor Duane Roen had talked about cognitive overload within an earlier video as part of the course, which I had understood to a certain degree, but following some further reading and practice of revision, which was within the English 101 (Roen et al) course, I learnt to fully understand that flexible approaches to writing can be adopted as a positive tool. "Scochicago" wrote a similar point when writing in their forum discussion. Reflection upon past experiences also played a part in their response: "Revision - has a new meaning to me now that I have taken this class. Years ago, while supporting Word Processing dept- documents were sent back for revisions and I never thought about what the author actually did to some of those documents. It was funny because sometimes you would hear the document specialist fussing stating, he revised the whole document or he marked this document up so much that he should have started over. But now, after taking this class I understanding that revision means reediting, rewriting, redrafting the document." Other strong and diverse comments reflected upon feelings towards positivity, which became a visible pattern within this discussion forum on revision. "Productiontribe09" wrote: "I certainly do not feel like revision is a negative process nor does it make me feel negatively toward it. I consider revision a healthy and positive process of the literary arts. This attitude or mentality toward revision shows that I care about what I communicate and how I communicate it. I may want to say something differently or change what I thought I wanted to say. Revision is a very useful strategy for writing." It can be argued that positive communication through writing is enhanced through various revision practices including peer review. Expressing ones views and ideas through writing demonstrates how much a person cares about what they are saying, which adds credibility to the writing. We all (my fellow students that I have quoted above, and myself) feel this way, which is reflected through our current comments within the "Revision" discussion forum. Works Cited: Roen, Duane et al. English 101. English department. Arizona State University. 2017. Web. 11 Feb. 2017. The questions posed within the second part of "Writers Journal #18-Proofing, Formatting, and Producing" provided an interesting opportunity to debate the potential differences in creative output between different writers. The question were as follows:
"What consequences might arise if different readers and writers think of proofing, formatting, and producing final pieces of writing differently? What kind of problems or opportunities might arise?" (Roen et al) When I originally read this question, I thought about the potential for creativity. Because the first part of the question raised the potential for a large number of possible answers, which was because a number of different decisions could be made by each writer, the variety of possible answers probably increased, which would have led to a diverse range of opinions. During the discussion forum on "Writers Journal # 18-Proofing, Formatting, and Producing", which preceded reflection upon the questions above, the following was asked: "Reflect and Respond to these questions about revision: How important is proofing and formatting to you as a writer? How important do you think it is in writing that you read? What do you think of a writer when you encounter grammatical or stylistic issues or mistakes? Are there times when one should break grammatical rules or resist formatting requirements? Why or why not?" (Roen et al) Contained within responses to this question, which formed the debate that our group took part in, "Sandyroqs" wrote: "As a writer, removing stumbling blocks of grammatical mistakes is important to me. They take away from the piece and its intrinsic meaning, except when using it to relay a conversation or speaking from a different cultural or educational background. Using language structure for a child will sound different than writing a professional or formal piece within the business context." This quote highlights their view of how different perceptions (a child, and someone working in business) could be, as a result of structural differences in language. One further example, a post written by "Pamela-Morgan" in response to the same question, was as follows: "Proofing and formatting is very important to me as a writer. I think we express a lot about ourselves by how we write and present our work. I also think it is very important in the writing I read. Often I'll come across an article that looks interesting but immediately there are many grammar or spelling mistakes. Mistakes like these can really break up the flow of the piece and cause a huge distraction. A distraction like this to a reader can easily make your true purpose be missed or obscured. I think there are times where breaking grammatical rules or formatting rules can be a viable choice. For example, in more informal writing such as blog posts, letters to friends/ family, and general internet messages grammar mistakes and formatting mistakes are looked over more easily." "Dr Adam Pacton", who teaches us English Composition at Arizona State University, wrote an insightful response to this post by "Pamela-Morgan". A section of "Dr Pacton's" response was as follows: "All told, I think grammar is purposive. Grammatical "mistakes" may violate one rule, but they may help an author achieve their purpose in violating that rule. For real." "In the above paragraph [Dr Pacton's quote directly above], note that the final "sentence" is not a sentence at all, but it is understandable to someone who knows conversational English. If a "grammar" is just a system of rules for making meaning in a language, how does this complicate our notions of what it means for something to be "grammatically correct?" I'm not sure, but I like thinking about it! :-)" (Dr Adam Pacton). I like the way that Dr Pacton has left the question open to debate through declaring "I'm not sure", but I like thinking about it! :-)". Dr Pacton's theory, and question assists me with adding weight to my response to the questions that were asked at the beginning of this journal entry, because in my opinion, the complication that Dr Pacton described in his question revolved around potential differences of opinion. If we consider that many different languages and cultures exist within our world, which contain diverse ways of thinking and being, the possibilities could be endless. In the end, perception is the key which all human beings use when making decisions, therefore, different perceptions guide which choices that a writer will make. One of the more difficult elements of engagement that one experiences through the English 101 course at Arizona State University, is the challenge that occurs through different avenues of our own thought. This phenomenon can sometimes be interpreted as a problem, especially when a deadline for an assignment is involved, but the challenge of providing diverse information for a writer to digest ultimately creates a platform for a writer to improve their knowledge, and therefore their readers knowledge. Evidence of this can be seen in my own response to a post within the same discussion. Firstly, krisbrown97's post was as follows: "As a writer, I find proofing and formatting to be very important. Proofing is important because you are re-reading and making sure that your work is well organized, that there is a smooth transition between each paragraph, and that you have evidence that fully backs up our argument. Formatting is important because your paper pertains needs to pertain to a specific audience. But it also ensures that your work is formatted to the required style of your teacher. In my opinion, there is no way that you can write without the ability to read. The more you read, the better you write. Through reading, you gain knowledge and inspiration to write about bigger and better things. When reading works from other writer's, I don't automatically expect it to be a perfect paper. Everyone makes mistakes no matter how good of a writer you are. If there are a lot of grammatical errors, I would take it into consideration that the work wasn't proofed or changed." My response to their post was: "I can relate to the importance that you place upon "a smooth transition between each paragraph" and "evidence that fully backs up our argument". I am currently learning to uphold higher standards in this area, which is in order to continue to create writing that is strong and effective." We both felt that evidence played its part in the creation of text, and considering the diverse availability of variable evidence, which could be gained from different print or electronic resources, the limitless availability of answers to questions and how writers use grammar to express those answers becomes apparent. Works Cited: Roen, Duane, et al. English 101. English department. Arizona State University. February. 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017. Throughout the process of creating "Writing Project#2-Ethnography", the most surprising revelation was the enjoyment that I gained from the interview process. The first major paper "Writing Project#1-Autoethnography" was naturally focused upon my own experiences, and how that experience effected my community, but this paper was was naturally more outwardly looking, which enabled me to learn about the habits of others. I live in a house that is on the Ridlington farm site, therefore I already knew some members of the Gadd family because they are my closest neighbours. Becoming closer to them through learning about their family history, the history of others, and their associates (staff members and those who rent land on site), was an enlightening experience. I enjoyed writing about my own experiences, especially because it reminded me of who I am, which included a significant effort to consider other people. Writing about others whilst considering history was an eye opening experience; I have now become more aware of my surroundings, and the people that inhabit those surroundings.
Further consideration could be made towards the interview process, which I found challenging, and how practicing the interview process enabled me to become better at that skill. I had been surprised by the activity (members of staff and those who rent land) at Ridlington farm on my first site visit, which produced a wealth of results through observation and interviews. It was practice at interviewing Aaron (staff) and Nicki (a member of the public that rents land from Ridlington farm) that became a learning experience that I grew from, which was apparent throughout the multiple occasions that I interviewed Keith Gadd (joint owner of Ridlington farm). I felt more free flowing, and able to pose questions more clearly and confidently, which opened the possibility for excellent dialogue between us. I was also able to put the skills which I had read about into practice, which included the process of allowing the interview to flow into new directions through allowing Keith to discuss what he was thinking about. Many of the anecdotes and personal stories within the paper were discovered as a result of enacting this process during the interview. One of those anecdotes was "that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (Keith), which was a statement that affirmed his belief that the spirit of a hard working farmer, such as the type exhibited by Ernest Connor that day, was as a result of the "back breaking work" (Keith) that a farmer endured whilst working on the land. (Demicol) The commitment that I showed towards the assignment, in terms of rising to the challenge ("I challenge you to maintain this level of detail in your next piece, and I look forward to experiencing the community you choose through your artistic and critical eye.") (Jamie) that was laid down to me by one of the tutors that graded my first paper (Jamie), was instrumental in helping me to orchestrate a rigorous campaign that included multiple interviews, and various moments of observation. It was through this essential process, which was necessary as part of the assignment, which contributed to this challenge. Moving forward to the next stage of the course, which will include a further major writing project, and the completion of this e-portfolio, I understand that it is important to write in a way that makes one feel comfortable. Through understanding the various skills that are needed to enable a smooth process of writing to occur, one can also enjoy the process of writing more strongly. From the initial sketch, to the final draft, including research, interviews, formatting, and checking for grammatical errors, one can express the information that is required for a paper in an efficient manner that communicates the rhetoricians ideas effectively. Overall, it is the decision of the rhetorician to determine how they communicate their ideas, which only they would understand through an analysis of the task in hand, therefore, successful communication overall is considered by myself as the most critical and important part of the writing process. Whilst reflecting upon the experiences of "Writing Project#1-Autoethnography", we asked the following question: “If you were invited to teach someone else something about writing tomorrow, what would it be and why?” (Roen et al) In response to that question, I wrote the following: "The challenge of composing Writing project 1 was all encompassing at times. Developing a clear understanding of the MLA (Modern Language Association) "style for writing and formatting research papers." (MLA) was one of the most difficult pressures that I had to overcome. The balancing act between accurately citing sources whilst composing high quality writing was a difficult task for my mind to deal with, but I felt that the completion of Writing Project 1 was a turning point in my ability to deal with citing sources in the MLA style. Throughout the coming weeks, through frequent use of the MLA Style, I will be able to enjoy the experiences of English composition projects more thoroughly, this is because my mind will be able to focus on the discovery of new information, with less of a concern regarding my ability to accurately reference research." (Demicol) Although I would continue to express how important it is to maintain high standards with regard to citations, I would also place a fresh emphasis on something new that I have learnt (be creative when writing). The art of thinking critically, and using processes to achieve your goal of composing an effective piece of writing, now remains at the forefront of my mind when I think critically about the writing that I create. It is important to allow one's mind to flow freely, which subsequently allows creativity to occur. When one situation is different to the next, it is important to think like this, because flexible approaches allow one to remain focused and confident when challenges in our writing processes occur. The "WPA outcomes statement" (WPA) also reaffirms my views: "Writers use multiple strategies, projects. Composing processes are seldom linear: a writer may research a topic before drafting, then conduct additional research while revising or after consulting a colleague. Composing processes are also flexible: successful writers can adapt their composing processes to different contexts and occasions." (WPA 2) The inclusion of this statement under "Processes", and the skills that have been learnt through English 101 such as writing a sketch (a first draft), or creating a final draft, confirms that reflection is indeed an important part of writing. I believe that this is true because I would go further than suggesting that it is simply just important by claiming that it is actually a vital part of the writing process. Through "Developing a writing project through multiple drafts" (WPA 2), and to "Develop flexible strategies for reading, drafting, reviewing, collaborating, revising, rewriting, rereading, and editing" (WPA 2), one can engage in writing a paper, or journal, or any other type of writing, in a professional and effective manner. Works Cited: Council of writing program administrators (WPA). "Outcomes statement for First Year Composition". wpacouncil.org. Vol 3.0. 2014. p 1-3. Web. 12 Jan. 2017 Demicol, Neil. "Ethnography-Ridlington Farm". neildemicol.weebly.com. 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017. Demicol, Neil. "Writers Journal #11-Reflection". neildemicol.weebly.com. 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017. Roen, Duane' et al. English 101. English department. Arizona State University. Feb. 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017. This writers Journal is dedicated to recording an example of an interview that I conducted.
Part one-Interview two/Nicki This interview contained spontaneous questions. The questions were spontaneous because I saw an opportunity to conduct an unplanned interview whilst I was at the research site. This interview has become known as interview two. Whilst I was at my research site (Ridlington Farm), I observed two people. One of them was Nicki. Nicki allowed me to interview her on the spot. I asked a number of questions that stemmed from what I was observing about her behaviour (tending to a horse and pony within a fenced field), and questions that were relevant to her responses to my original questions. I informed Nicki that I was an English student at Arizona State university, and that I had received permission to conduct observations within the farm by the owner (Keith). I explained that I needed to gain permission from Nicki to observe her activities, and that I would like permission to interview her. I informed her that I would send an electric copy of the 'consent form' to her email address, which she was in agreement with. My questions: What does your current activity entail? -This question was asked in order to discover what Nicki was doing at that exact moment. What are you creating inside the small wooden structure? -In the above question, Nicki mentioned that she was creating padding for her pony inside a small wooden framed construction which was similar to a large shed with open access. What is Laminitis? -Whilst discovering why Nicki was creating the padded area for her pony, Laminitis was mentioned. Does this ground have ancient rites? -Whilst Nicki was commenting on the degree by which water was engulfing her field, and the surrounding fields, she mentioned that the land she was renting from the farmer (Andy, who is Keith's son), was possibly ancient. Part two-Nicki's answers to the questions above were as follows: What does your current activity entail? Nicki explained that she was mainly tending to her "adopted shetland pony" who's name was "Bea". Bea was adopted in "September" from a previous carer who lived in "Heyshott" (a nearby village). Nicki explained that Bea was "quite difficult to deal with", and was presenting a challenge, but it was something that she felt good about doing. What are you creating inside the small wooden structure? Nicki explained that she was padding the inside of the small wooden structure for the comfort of Bea, and "Susie", who Nicki described as a "mare". Nicki explained that Bea had been suffering badly from "Laminitis". What is Laminitis? Nicki explained that Laminitis is an "inflammation" of the hoof area of a pony or horse, which was caused "from frost" on the grass beneath Bea's feet. Nicki continued to explain the process of treatment for Bea, stating that she was "restricting Bea's grazing", and "soaking the hay" that was provided for Bea. The restrictions on grazing stemmed from the exposure to "sugars" that could be found on the grass, which could further inflame the hoofs. The hay was being soaked in order to "remove sugars, which could negatively impact Bea's recovery". Nicki pointed to Bea's movement, which demonstrated how she had "turned around quite freely". Nicki explained that just a few days ago, Bea hadn't been able to make such a smooth movement when attempting to turn, and would have found it difficult to turn at'all. Nicki was pleased with Bea's "improvement". Does this ground have ancient rites? Nicki suggested that I "Ask Keith about the ancient rites" that were associated with the field Nicki was standing in. The land within the field was quite water logged, which is why the field remained "largely untouched" in comparison to the "extremely tidy and clean" environment that Nicki used to described the farm in general. Research site:
Ridlington Farm Duncton West Sussex England Sub sections within site: The road leading to the main farm site, which has fields, a converted barn, and three other houses set aside from the road: -A very large pile of crop that is covered up with a shiny black plastic material. Bales of the product are placed on top of the pile. Through a previous (last year) conversation, I am aware that underneath the black covering lies two hundred thousand tonnes of maize from last summers crop. This will be sold as feed for livestock in the future. -A large pile of animal waste. The waste is steaming. Research site entrance: -There are typical South Downs signs which instruct walkers which way they can walk through the private property of Ridlington farm. -There is a narrow stream that is making a relaxing trickling noise. The stream is surrounded on each side by green bushes. -I can see two large industrial looking barns in the distance ahead of me. One barn contains colourful heavy machinery, and one contains golden bales of straw. There are green fields surrounding the road leading to the barns, and the barns themselves. The barn/right side: -The barn looks like a large factory without any outer walls on one side. It has a metal structure that is covered with some wood and some sheet metal or plastic. -Large agricultural equipment that is painted in bright colours such as green and red fill one side of the large barn. -I can see a name (Grass Manager) written onto an agricultural machine that has dangerous spiky metal rods pointing out of its structure, and seems to have a number of black wheels on several areas of the machinery. -Green mould is growing on one small area of the red metal structure of the barns outer frame. This weathering stands out because the barn is very tidy and clean. -There are red and white stripes on the backs of many of the individual machinery. The signs could be warning signs. -A fire extinguisher is attached to the outside wall of the barn. The extinguisher is concealed within a protective bag. -There are modern black pipes that are attached to the barn. They seem to carry water from the roof of the barn. -I tap the bottom of my wellington boot onto the poured concrete flooring just outside of the barn. The noise echoes within the barn. The acoustics of the barn reacted to my movement. -Some distant noise from the main road (A285) can be heard. -The wind is cold and noisy at this moment. -There is a faded sign slightly below the roof edge that says "Hill". -To the right of the barn are multiple green fields. There is a winding road that is lined with wooden electrical pylons. There are tall pine trees in the distance surrounding the fields, and a mountainous looking terrain in the far distance, which is the South Downs. The barn/left side: -Bales of hay or straw are piled high up, which fills the height and depth of the left side of the barn. The hay or straw is a golden colour. It feels great; it is generally soft to touch, with some spiky bits, but it seems like it is very strong structurally. -The wood edging that forms a rim below the edge of the top of the roof is silvered, which is possibly as a result of natural weathering. -A long spade with a grey handle and a silver metal base is balanced against a bale of hay. -A sign that says GE White & Sons, and notes a telephone number, rests underneath the roof edging. -The revealed inner metal structure is sharp and abrasive to look at. -There is light that is pouring through the roof of the barn; it lightens the atmosphere of the barn. -The gravel beside the barn consists of many different sized rocks and stones that are of a variety of colours including black, red, and grey. The rocks have sharp edges, and are mixed amongst ground down rocks and stones. Movement of people within the main site area beside the barn: -A white car drives past me as I am observing a green and yellow tractor. The car disappears behind a long brick building that is on one level. The tractor looks like it is an older model, and is industrial looking with many sharp metal edges and large black tyres that have thick indented grooves. The tractor has a hedge trimmer attached to the back of it. -The driver walks around towards me. We start to talk. He is relaxed and friendly. His name is Aaron. Aaron is at work and intends to drive away in the tractor shortly. He tells me that he has dropped off his car, and will be returning to a different site with the tractor. -Aaron reinforces the working farm aspect of this research site by moving quickly, and preparing to go to his next job. Aaron gets into the tractor and turns on the engine. He is warming the engine up, and looks concentrated. Aaron gets out of the tractor and allows me to interview him (see interview 1). Aaron then drives away in the tractor on the winding road through the fields that I passed upon entry to the farm. -Someone else is taking part in an activity on an opposite field. They are also concentrating on their task, which is in the same way that Aaron was. They are tending to what looks like horses or ponies. They are walking around the site. -I walk through a small field to the opposite site. The other person that is present is pushing a large stick into the ground, and is going in and out of a small wooden structure that seems to house the horses or ponies. I ask the person (Nicki) if i can observe her activities. Nicki allows me to interview her. I observe a slightly older looking blue horse box that doubles as a truck, a modern black jeep, a further industrial farming tool that has sharp pointy looking rods and black wheels. There is a red trailer with bales wrapped up in black plastic bag material. The ground is muddy, and has wheel tracks indented into the black rocky consistency of the road covering. Further observations: -Aaron was moving through the site fairly quickly, whereas Nicki was positioned in one place where she was tending to her horse and pony. -Aaron and Nicki were both very friendly and welcoming, despite them both being busy with their individual tasks. Both were happy to take time to let me interview them before they carried on with their activities and tasks. This Writers Journal has been practice for an up and coming ethnography task.
Select a space-My gym: A diverse culture greets me as i walk into my gym club. I am greeted by smiling reception staff. The age range is a striking initial feature. There is a group of around 10 middle aged ladies that are gathering for drinks, food, and discussion in the coffee bar. Some of the gym instructors are enjoying a break with other colleagues; they are eating and drinking. Some are young looking, and others are middle aged. Some are sitting in the coffee bar on their computers, others are also talking to friends. The people that choose to swim or work out are absent from this space. The space is bright, but with dark leather chairs and sofa's. The smell of food is present, as is the smell of freshly made coffee. There are children that are accompanied with adults. There are also children swimming in the pool. They are being watched by the same adults that are waiting on the reception side of the clear glass wall that separates the swimming pool from the general outer area in reception. The children are screaming with joy, they are acting vibrantly and are smiling and laughing with each-other. Some of he parents have cautious expressions on their faces, and some are smiling whilst they watch the children learning to swim from the other side of the glass wall. There is a desk with two computers. The desk is where two of the gym staff are sitting, one is female, one is male. The male staff member is typing into a keyboard that is connected to a computer, the female staff member is looking at her computer screen. They both have concentrated looks on their faces whilst they are looking at their screens, whereas the reception staff are looking out for members that walk through the door, then greeting them in same way as I was greeted. Read the space: The gym represents a diverse mix of people from different ethnicities and of different ages. All levels of fitness are represented from injured patients to very fit and toned individuals, who could be of any gender or race. They could be children or adults. The overall culture is one of diversity and freedom, where people express themselves through sporting and social activities. It is a space where people feel pain in order to grow, and a place where rewards (food and drinks) can be enjoyed once the hard work has taken place. It is thus a place of reward which makes the members feel good. The people that are in the gym area are wearing sports attire. They are wearing trainers, light tops that are often brightly coloured, or plain in colour like black or white. Members are usually wearing shorts or jogging bottoms which are flexible to wear. The colour and fit of the clothing tells me that the members are making fashion statements to me. Bright colours are positive and vibrant, which is part of the general demeana of most of the people that are working out. The plain coloured clothing of some members is also a fashion statement. It is straight talking as it were, and simple, subtle, which maybe reflects the direct looking approach of these members. There is free flowing discussion occurring between small (2-3) or large (4-10) groups of people in the gym cafe, and the gym floor, which suggests that the gym is situated in an area that people are free to express themselves. The gym contains heavy gym equipment. The weights, which have long shiny metal bars and heavy black ridged weights are symbols of pain and strength all in one. The ceilings are high and in a warehouse style, which are uncovered with exposed industrial features such as large pipes and metal bars that are part of the structure of the ceiling and roof of the gym. The gym strikes me as being very honest in its identity, which is affirmed by its members, who are honest in their pursuit of higher levels of fitness. The exposed pipes and glass walls are striking features that make the environment very bright. These all affirm the honest identity of the gym. Analyze the space: Only members, or non members that pay to enter as a guest can enter the gym. This is because members pay money to the gym in return for entrance. Potential future members have the right to a pre-agreed temporary entrance at no cost, but it is granted with a view that membership may be taken up at a later time. Children are able to enter the gym with accompanying adults. Non members that do not want to test the gym are not allowed into the gym. Animals are not allowed into the gym. It is likely that members who are referred from the hospital for rehabilitation treatment may feel uncomfortable in this environment, at least initially. New members may also feel uncomfortable. Both of these groups may feel uncomfortable because the environment of the gym floor can be quite intimidating. There is loud music, many people (sometimes up to 60 people) are all working out. If a patient is referred form the hospital for treatment with a physiotherapist, then perhaps they may feel a little uncomfortable because unlike the members who are working out rather vigorously, they are taking their time, and can only participate in treatment, which may leave them feeling left out. Someone that wears sports kit, and would like to participate in sporting activity, or someone that would like to receive treatment, or enjoy the sauna or steam room, would fit into this environment. Although the cafe is a meeting place for all members to enjoy, the participation of sporting activity is a pre-requisite for entering the gym as a member. Children often stand out in the gym environment because there are mostly adults inside the gym area. This writers journal is focused upon a written observation of a photograph (Anonymous, 4, Rome, Italy) (Mollison) that is part of "Where Children Sleep", which is a collection of photographs by James Mollison. I will now begin writing about my observation:
The left hand side picture of the boy: I see a picture of a young boy next to a picture of a mattress on a grassy field. The young boy looks like he may be approximately 10 years old. He is wearing a circular shaped white cap which has red edging around the visor part of the cap. There is a logo on the front of the hat, but the cap is worn backwards and is therefore not visible, except for some thin black lines, 3 red dots, 1 black dot, and what looks like beaded lines. The dots and beaded lines are part of the design. The boy has mousy brown hair, which is swept underneath the front of the cap, although some hair around the fringe, and the sides of his hair is visible. The boy looks slightly sad, or it could be that he is in a reflective mood. He has strong eye brows, which are also mousy brown in colour. He has blue eyes, which stand out due to the bright white background of his eyes. He has regular sized ears, and a small nose. He looks very healthy. The young boy is wearing a creased looking red jacket which has what looks like poppers for fasteners on the top front, and the neck. I can see a blue inner lining around the neck area of the red jacket. The right hand side picture of the mattress: The photograph of the boy has been placed beside a picture of a mattress. The mattress is laid upon grass inside what looks like it could be a grassy field. The field also contains some bushes and hedges. The sky is visible, and is largely a baby blue colour, with a white cloud in the top right hand corner. In the background, part of a white object can be seen. A pole of some sort is placed into the ground and stands tall over the field. What looks like a large satellite dish is also in the field next to the pole. The mattress, which is in the foreground of the picture, is rectangular in shape, and may be single in size. The mattress has many items placed over the top of it, and around it. On the top of the mattress lays a red, white, and blue coloured tartan blanket. There is also a bright green item that may be a rain jacket, or a waterproof blanket, and it is placed over the bed with the edge falling over the side of the mattress onto the grass. In addition to this, there are some multi coloured items on the bed: one is orange, three are yellow, and two are red. These items are indistinguishable at this present time. I can also see what looks vaguely like a printed jacket, perhaps a denim jacket, and some other items that may be clothing. The colours of these slightly indistinguishable items are baby blue, burgundy and white, and grey/dark blue. There also seems to be a grey jacket or blanket besides the mattress on the grass, which is accompanied by litter and what may be toys. I can see an item which is largely yellow with additional splashes of the colour red to contrast; it may be an air ship model. There is also a purple item, a yellow, red, and white juice box, and a grey item. Finally, there are yellow, blue and baby blue items scattered around the grass next to the mattress. Works Cited: Mollison, James. Where Children Sleep. Unknown. Jamesmollison.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2017. Throughout week three of English 101 (Roen et al), writing project one was completed. The most surprising part of the process, which can be described as an outcome, was the insight that I gained from the peer review at the 'draft' stage of the writing project. It became clear to me that although I had achieved the highest possible median score overall (20/20), a number of my peers were making similar points, which was very helpful. Examples of some of the comments from my peers were: "Just my opinion, but I feel the personal side of your experience has been neglected as you weaved in more and more research", "Indeed, I would like to listen to your music", "The writer studied well about the opinion he or she has. However, what readers want to read is more personal, unique experience I think." (anonymous peer)
Following a re-assessment of the autoethnography, and reflection upon the peer reviewers comment, conclusions were made: I felt that I hadn't written enough detail regarding my personal story, the structure of the essay needed to be amended for the purpose of creating a smoother blend of the elements of my personal experience and academic evidence, and, that I needed to draw further conclusions regarding the outcomes of the experience. Overall, the essay was regarded as an excellent piece of work, however, it required further editing. In adddition to this, one further conclusion could be drawn from the experience of peer review; through experiencing helpful, friendly and honest advice, one could improve as a writer of English composition. Upon reflection of the above text, it does not surprise me that this experience was extremely revealing, however, I did not foresee see this outcome arising. I feel that as a fast growing 1st year English composition student, I am learning to understand the type of writer that I was at the beginning of the course (9th January 2017). Overall, I would say that at that stage, I didn't possess a thorough understanding of the "Processes" (WPA 2) involved in English composition. An excerpt taken from "The WPA Outcomes Statement" states that "Composing processes are seldom linear: a writer may research a topic before drafting, then conduct additional research while revising or after consulting a colleague." (WPA 2) At this stage, I can see that I didn't fully comprehend how big an impact this process would have on the overall structure of a final draft of English composition. The challenge of composing Writing project 1 was all encompassing at times. Developing a clear understanding of the MLA (Modern Language Association) "style for writing and formatting research papers." (MLA) was one of the most difficult pressures that I had to overcome. The balancing act between accurately citing sources whilst composing high quality writing was a difficult task for my mind to deal with, but I felt that the completion of Writing Project 1 was a turning point in my ability to deal with citing sources in the MLA style. Throughout the coming weeks, through frequent use of the MLA Style, I will be able to enjoy the experiences of English composition projects more thoroughly, this is because my mind will be able to focus on the discovery of new information, with less of a concern regarding my ability to accurately reference research. At this stage of my development, I feel that the skill of being able to 'tell ones story' is the most important part of the writing process. If one can build effective sentences and paragraphs into full essays, through a detailed explanation of what the writer is trying to say, then at a later stage, work can be done to implement changes that could improve the essay. If I look back over my writing experiences during the last three weeks, I can see that I gained a better understanding of what I was trying to write through writing a large number of journals. This experience was occurring before I began to draft Writing Project 1. Whilst composing "Writer's Journal 2-The Learning Process" I focused quite particularly on using my skills in Rhetorical Knowledge. Under the heading "Rhetorical Knowledge" in the "WPA Outcomes Statement" (WPA 1), the following is stated: "Rhetorical Knowledge is the ability to analyze contexts and audiences and then to act on that analysis in comprehending and creating text. Rhetorical knowledge is the basis of composing. Writers develop rhetorical knowledge by negotiating purpose, audience, context, and conventions as they compose a variety of texts for different situations." Understanding the role of the 'rhetor' whilst writing "Writer's Journal 2-The Writing process" helped me to perceive a writer in the same way that a speaker is perceived, which was insightful when I considered how the Greek philosopher Socrates (c.470-399 B.C.E.) (Kraut) communicated his self reflective thoughts within the court where his trial was being held. The following text was referenced within the journal: "Reflecting that I was really too honest a man to follow in this way and live, I did not go where I could do no good to you or to myself; but where I could do the greatest good privately to everyone of you, thither I went, and sought to persuade every man among you that he must look to himself, and seek virtue and wisdom before he looks to his private interests, and look to the state before he looks to the interest of the state, and that this should be the order which he observes in all his actions" (Socrates 16) Socrates self reflection communicated his rhetoric clearly and directly, which showed me that as a rhetorician, it is my responsibility to aspire to replicate this standard of clarity and purpose when composing text with an audience in mind. In response to the following question: "If you were asked to teach someone else something about writing tomorrow, what would it be and why?" (Rodney et al), I would instruct the individual in question "How To Read Like a Writer" (Bunn). I would also include some instruction regarding the effectiveness of making prompt, detailed notes regarding the citation of their sources whilst creating the initial draft. Both of these skills are vitally important when creating credible research, which forms the basis of the vast amount of assignments within academic courses. Engaging with credible evidence is also key to composing an authoritative paper, and reading like a writer can assist in the close analysis of any given text. A short section of text taken from an article titled "How to Read Like a Writer" (Bunn) discusses the importance of this analytical tool: Charles Moran, who is a professor of English at the University of Massachusetts, urges us to read like writers because: "When we read like writers we understand and participate in the writing. We see the choices the writer has made, and we see how the writer has coped with the consequences of those choices...We "see" what the writer is doing because we read as writers; we see because we have written ourselves and know the territory, know the feel of it, know some of the moves ourselves." (Moran) In addition to this, noting citations as we work allows the writer to place more focus upon the research, and keep up with the pace of the course. Finally, i'd like to reflect upon writing earlier in this journal (paragraphs-1-4) where processes were discussed. If you recall the evidence from these earlier paragraphs (1-4), I noted that "Processes" (WPA 2) was the title that heads one section of the "WPA Outcomes Statement". I referenced the following statement: "Composing processes are seldom linear: a writer may research a topic before drafting, then conduct additional research while revising or after consulting a colleague." (WPA 2) This example showed how important diversity of reflection is to the Council of Writing Program Administrators. It is also important to consider that diverse choices encourage collaboration, and how important class collaboration becomes when finalizing drafts of an essay; it highlights the positives and negatives of a text, which leads to an improved version of a text. Works Cited: Bunn, Mike. "How to Read Like a Writer". Writing Spaces: Readings On Writing. 2011. Vol 2. 2014. p. 71-86. Web. 29 Jan. 2017. Council of writing program administrators. "Outcomes statement for First Year Composition". wpacouncil.org. Vol 3.0. 2014. pp. 1-3. Web. 9 Jan. 2017. "MLA Style". The Writing Lab and OWL at Purdue and Purdue U, 2017. Web. 17 Jan. 2017. Moran, Charles. "Reading Like A Writer." Vital Signs 1. Edited by James L. Collins. 1990. "How to Read Like a Writer". Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. Web. 29 Jan. 2017. Kraut, Richard, et al. "Socrates: Greek Philosopher". Britannica.com. 1999. Web. 29 Jan. 2017. Socrates. "Apology". classics.mit.edu. 399 B.C.E. Written by Plato. Translated by Jowett, B. pp 1-20. The Internet Classics Archive. Web Atomics. Web. 13 Jan. 2017. neildemicol.weebly.com. Web. 23 Jan. 2017. Roen, Duane et al. English 101. English department. Arizona State University. Feb. 2017. Web. 29 Jan. 2017. |